I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
