i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
