I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
