Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize