Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
