btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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