Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize