I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
a search helicopter?!
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
