He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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