I'm jealous of your bromance
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
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