David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
