I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
she told me i tasted like america
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
