He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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