Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize