no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
