i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
