All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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