and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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