what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
