I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
