I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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