I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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