why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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