1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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