He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
