you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
