I wish I only lived at night.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Well I just put wine in my tea
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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