tell your sister to shave her snatch
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
