just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
