How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he was CRYING into my vagina
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
