I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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