dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I FOUND THE LEGS
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
