yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
