I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
