i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i can't believe i had my finger in that
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
