I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
