I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
