Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
