My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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