If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
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He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away