I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"