Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.