well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize