yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything