I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
