Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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