im having a threesome with these popsicles
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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