Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
