Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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