In the future we'll all be gay
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
