I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
