You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
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his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
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i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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