i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
A+ Viking dick
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