I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
