Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
