i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
