i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize