no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
