smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
