We're facebook friends in real life
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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