oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
