I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
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5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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