It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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