Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
