i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Everyone says I win the strip club
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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