we have officially lost it.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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